When Marshall was at the end of his life, he was surrounded by family. We smothered him with love. I am especially grateful to have held his hand through his last breath and my head close to his while listening intently to his final gasp.

COVID has robbed families of this blessing. If your elderly loved one resides in a care facility or is hospitalized, restrictions are in place. We understand that the restrictive visits are necessary, but that doesn’t make them any less frustrating. The elderly and health-compromised are not only more susceptible to the Corona Virus, they are more likely to perish from it. We don’t want to carry illness to them, be responsible for their death, or infect the staff or other residents in their home.

So now we visit from outside of a window while our mother knocks and begs us to come in. Our spouse waves from across the garden. There are no hugs, kisses, or hand-holding. Instead, we cover our faces with masks and wave from a distance.

My heart breaks for my friends in this stressful situation. Several have lost their spouse, parent, sibling, or friend during this bizarre season. Hospital and care facility staffs are striving to be even more attentive and loving to their residents and patients. But it isn’t us. This doesn’t satisfy our need to be physically close, loving them, and holding our loved one. Perhaps this is one of the greatest sorrows of COVID.

***

Read more about caring for a family member with dementia in my award-winning titles, Navigating Alzheimer’s and The Alzheimer’s Spouse.

***

Like things spicy? Try Jalapeno Popper Pizza.