Love Them Where They Are

Like sunshine

on an overcast day

rays of the man I knew

peek through the clouds

leaving me longing for more.

How well we who have loved ones with Alzheimer’s disease know the feelings of this poem found in the beginning of my book, Navigating Alzheimer’s. One minute our mother seems to recognize us and enjoy our company. The next minute she accuses us of stealing from her or trying to poison her with the food we spent hours preparing.

Information doesn’t transmit through the Alzheimer’s brain consistently and memories are jumbled. The brain can only connect the dots intermittently. The world from the Alzheimer’s brain is a scary place with strange people and circumstances everywhere around them.

We understand that our loved one’s actions and hurtful remarks aren’t their fault, but that doesn’t diminish our sadness. We can only love them where they are in the moment and accept that the disease is taking them from us against their will.


(Watch my Facebook page for upcoming presentations. My next scheduled dates are The Alzheimer’s Spouse on Tuesday, June 11, 2019 in Wayne, NJ and on Wednesday, June 12, 2019 in Whippany, NJ. If you are in the area, I’d love to see you there.)



  1. Susie · · Reply

    When your loved has Alzheimer’s you learn that their hurtful remarks are from the disease not from them.

    Liked by 1 person

  2. Yes, Susie. So true.


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