Accepting the Unacceptable

Is it possible to accept something that it is the stuff of nightmares? The ultimate goal of grieving is to do just that. We come to accept the reality of a situation. However, this does not mean we like it.  

Depending on what is lost, how dear it is to us, and the events surrounding the loss, it may take us months or years before we arrive at a point of acceptance. Acceptance does not indicate that we are happy with the outcome. It means we understand the reality that we no longer have the person or object of our painful grieving. We know we must move on in a new way.

As discussed in early posts, there are five responses recognized in the typical grieving process. We tend to go through periods of denial, anger, bargaining, depression, and acceptance. The path is not the same for everyone or every situation. Most often, we move back and forth through the steps, and ultimately, we resign ourselves to accepting the outcome.

Our past has changed forever. Denying our feelings or needs will not change what has happened. Our life, and sometimes, our identity, must find a new reality. We continue to hold what or whom is lost dear to our heart, but we also are entitled to live, and even enjoy, the gift of life we personally have.

If you are going through the grieving process, know that you are not alone. In addition to God and heavenly beings, God surrounds us with earthly ones waiting to help. Seek counseling and surround yourself with people who love you. Breathe. And take life as slowly as you need to.

Grieving with Mary is available from, ACTA Publications, and my website. For more posts on Mary, see my special Facebook page, Mary and the Rosary. And don’t forget to follow my other blog, Midwest Mary.)

Grieving with Mary Cover


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