When Down, Look Up

Grieving with Mary Cover

Around 350 million people suffer from depression. In recent years I’ve counted myself in that number. Fortunately, I have more good days than bad but know the depths of sorrow.

This is a common side-effect of having a spouse with Alzheimer’s disease. I’m in a perpetual state of mourning because I continuously lose a part of my husband. His long good-bye, as Alzheimer’s is often referred to, is my death by a thousand cuts.

Prayer is my comfort and constant companion. Leaning on Jesus and Mary gets me through the darkness. Also helpful is time with family and friends, work, exercise, counseling, and medication.

Depression is noted by a change in behavior. Some of these symptoms may include:

  • Loss of interest in activity
  • Hopelessness
  • Feeling tired
  • Difficulty concentrating and making decisions
  • Under or over eating
  • Trouble falling asleep or staying asleep
  • Sleeping too much

If you are experiencing depression, seek professional help. And pray. You are never alone.

(Also see my posts on my blogs Midwest Mary and Saint Theodora/Mother Theodore and my author Facebook page.)



  1. “Is my death by a thousand cuts.” I know you mean that in more ways than one. Mary, as time went on with me, I understood my Mother was not saying a “long goodbye.” It was only the Mother “I” remembered that was doing so.

    Eventually this person emerged from her, which I did not know and never knew. How I loved that person. She shared things with me, about me, about herself, about my Dad, and my siblings that I never knew. “She” was as loving and as much fun, as the “other Mother.” (That is after we got through the part where they are so belligerent.) That was not fun at all!

    I embraced “this Mother” and she never said “goodbye,” until the Lord took her home. I have the memories of “two” loving, funny, and wonderful Mother’s. I have never said, nor will I ever say “goodbye” to either of them. You know she never said “goodbye” to her kids either. It did not matter which Mom showed up.

    There is something to learn and share through it all. When she could not remember what she did five minutes ago, we went back to where she was 25 years ago. There was always that little bit of something which placed a smile, a tear, or an out and out laugh, in there. Praying for you and your husband. Love and God Bless, SR


    1. Thank you, SR. God bless!


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